Cotton Candy Vodka

Remember that time you were at the carnival and you noticed someone drinking out of a brown paper bag? Then you would ask your parents what that man was doing, and they said that the person was drinking cotton candy? Well I've always wanted to give that a shot.

It can be a bit difficult to find cotton candy, so I stole this out of my war bunker. I guess if the bomb drops, the world will flat out be without.

Werther's Original Vodka

Do you remember when you would go to you're Grandma's house as a child, and she'd be there to greet you with Werther's? Then when you got older, she'd greet you with drinks? No? Maybe I just come from a weird family then. Anyways I wanted to mix the two worlds together.

Step one, collect all the Werther's... Even if you must steal them from Grandma's house.

Orange Starburst Vodka

Who could ever forget Starbursts? The amazing candy that would stick to your teeth so you could enjoy it later. Why don't we give this a go?

We start with a pack of Starburst. Nothing too special, this pack just cost my $2.00 from the "convenience" store.

Double Bubble Lollipop Vodka

Remember when you used to go to the doctor as a kid, and then at the end you would get a lollipop after getting a shot? Well this time we're going to take that shot and mix it with our candy.

Grab a back of lollipops. Can be any one. These ones just have gum in the center.

Mentos Mint Vodka

Sometimes I feel like I am not as... Fresh as I could be. By that I mean my breath of course. So sometimes I keep a little something ready just in case I need a pick me up. By that I either mean a vodka drink, or some Mentos. Well I really keep the Mentos on me, just in case I need to put them in someone's drink. Surprise.

So this is what I like to keep around on my person, just in case things start to get heavy. It is not as good as a Jr Mint to save people's lives, but it is good enough.

Bizzerks Candies That Fizz Vodka

Welcome back to another getting drunk with Gord. Today we use one of my obscure candies, which I received as a birthday present. Awesome right?

This is a Bizzerks. It's a simple candy for the most part. It's a bit like a War Head, minus the sourness, though it has a surprise of its own. It fizzes when you get to the core.

Cats Stole My Booze

Cats got drunk and stole my booze. Have to take a day off. Actually taking a flight back home. Sorry guys.

Lotsa Sours Vodka

When you're trying to go out and see your twin brother for his birthday, sometimes you grab whatever candy you can to mix with booze. This is one of those cases. The Lotsa bulk candy at the local super market was a sour candy that was mixed with a bunch of colours. The problem I have had though is that nothing yellow has been created. I did the unthinkable, and only collected the yellow candies from the mix bin.

I arranged them in an S for sour. In all honesty though, these are not sour compared to War Heads.

Sugar Rainbow Drops

Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and sugar gummy drops. Everything I want to put in vodka. Well that wasn't exactly a song, but it is a bastardized pathetic version. I found a few of the sugared gumdrops and thought I would give them a whirl.

First we take a look at the heaping rainbow pile, that looks like a unicorn threw up. Either that or they pooped this. Mythical creatures, like women, are a mystery to me.

Gummy Kermit the Frog Vodka

Do you ever feel like Kermit the Frog? Like you don't know why you're going to do it, but you know you're going to have to get some bacon? I don't. Bacon's awesome. Anyways Kermit it seems Kermit the Frog needs a little liquid courage, and we are going to give it to him.

I lost track of which one of them was Kermit the Frog, so I decided to round them all up to check them out.

Gummy Worms Vodka

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms. These ones are a little different though, as they are vodka gummy worms. The perfect thing to eat after St. Patrick's Day.

I asked the worms to just chill out, but they wanted to give a shout out to their mom. Losers.

Gushers Vodka

Gushers was another treat as a kid that I didn't really get to have, unless it was Halloween. Even at the tender age of 16, I would go out trying to score something like these. Then my son of a bitch parents would eat them in front of me. I can't wait to put them in a home.

Here's a pack of gusher though. I got the whole box, so I can enjoy them later. I'm so fat. >.>

Sweetarts Vodka

Remember the kid's candy Sweet Tarts? Or was it Sweetarts? Often was the battle on the playground on how it was spelled. Many lives were lost. For those whom were lost due to these battles, I dedicate this drink to thee.

Step one, we open up the Sweet Tarts and split them up... Just like my parents did.

Fruit By The Foot Vodka

Fruit by the foot was fun for all three feet of it. As a poor kid growing up, the only chance I had to try it was by stealing it from my classmates. First world problem for sure. As an adult I can have as much as I want though. Woot woot.

So I have just laid out a pack of strawberry Fruit by the Foot.You know it's three feet long right... Ladies?

Jolly Rancher Vodka

I spent a few years growing up on a ranch as a child. We would punch cows, ride horses, and throw bales of hay. The entire time there though... No one was jolly. So when I was offered Jolly Ranchers as a kid, I knew they had to be a lie. Now we get to try and make the candies jolly.

First we open up the pack and take a look at the distribution. Clearly the blue raspberry is the least favourite, if Jolly Rancher has something to say about it. One mark against it already.

Candy Smokes Vodka

I was always told to not smoke while growing up. That was one of the things I listened to my parents about. I probably did it because I saw how addicted people could get to them. Well I got addicted to something else. Candy Smokes.

Don't let the name change fool you. Candy sticks are candy smokes, just re-branded for a younger generation.

Candy Corn Vodka

Ever get a crazy idea that you probably shouldn't try, but you say, "Screw it."? It's like picking up one of those girls in the bar at closing time. You don't want to go home empty, so you figure you'll give the weird chick a try. Well that's why I tried Candy Corn.

Jelly Belly official candy corn treats were used in this experiment.

Butterscotch Vodka

From my years on television as a Anchorman, you learn a thing or two. One - Always smoke a cigar over cigarettes. Two - You can make up most forign minister's names, and no one will know. Three - Always drink scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Unfortunately we are out of our own, so we get to make some.

Here's the subject of our interview. About 7" tall, 200g, and probably the Kingpin of crime.

Socially Awesome/Awkward Penguin Vodka

Today we shall turn a socially awkward penguin into a socially awesome penguin. It's not too difficult, but the trick is to find them to covert them in the first place. Luckily I went all Crocodile Hunter on these, and brought them home. Wait... You don't know what a socially awkward penguin is?

That pretty much sums it up for you. Anyways, it's time for the hunt.

Sour Key Vodka

I've always been a man who keeps things close to the chest, and in the cockles of my heart. I don't like to express my opinions on what's going on, or what I am doing for the benefit of others. That's why it takes a key to my heart to force me to open up. One might even say... A sour key.

Well it looks like someone found the sour key to my heart. I guess I will have to give it a shot.

Tic Tac Vodka

When I was growing up, I always felt my breath was a little on the evil side. Not on the bad side, like, "It would be rude to speak". I meant it in the sense that it may end up stealing someone's wallet, and then kill them. Because of that, I kept it in line by having Tic Tacs.

Step one, put a picture of the Tic Tacs in front of an empty jar to imply I am going to use them in the vodka mix.

Blue Whale Vodka Gummies

What people don't really understand when they first see me, I was part of green peace for roughly 20 years. One thing we used to do was go out to whaling ships and stop them from killing them innocent whales. Today I continue my journey on a smaller scale. Today we save a beached whale.

Of starboard you can clearly see a whale beached on the luxurious shores of cutting board island. We have to save them before someone tries to nuke them.

Bacon Vodka

The number one food in the world is bacon. The second best food in the world is bacon as well, just if it is a small piece of it. I decided to give this delicious food a shot in the booze chamber, just to see if we can try and get our booze to be as delicious as bacon.

Step one, a pound of bacon. You don't have to use it all for the drink, you can use the rest of it just as it is.

Christmas Sour Vodka

What you might not know is that Christmas is still in full swing up here in Canada. As long as the snow keeps falling we still have plenty of the over stocked Christmas candies on sale. I decided to break some of it down to celebrate so a post Christmas, Christmas drink.

Step one, we check out our victim. It comes in two flavours. We only needed one though.

Licorice Jelly Bean Vodka

As a child I felt that black licorice was the devil. As an adult, I know it's the devil. I figure there is a way to make it better. A way to make it more sultry and adult. That way is to liquor it up.

Here's the jelly beans that I didn't want. Came in a combo pack with a bunch of flavours. I did my best and separated them from the pack.

Life Savers Vodka

Life Savers were pretty good back in the day. And by back in the day, I mean high school. And by high school I really mean elementary school. I figured it was time to take a blast from the past and put it back into motion with another drink, and so I grabbed some Life Savers and let the magic begin.

Step one. Put a hole in the bag. You can assume where it goes from there, but really it's just about separating them after.